Michael has so many pictures of his kids, he had to get two phones, with two numbers, and he pays two bills. He’s just so happy to have a family plan.
(Source: sirheisenberg)
(Source: tastefullyoffensive)
Disney magic!!
Your very Personal and Intense Disney Ask:
- Aurora: Story of your first kiss
- Rapunzel: 5 things from your bucket list
- Dory: Something someone has told you that you can't forget (two good things and one bad)
- Pocahontas: Something new you taught someone.
- Mulan: Do you trust your gut feeling? What happened.
- Jasmine: The story of when you had to really trust someone. Was it easy?
- Belle: Is there someone you are close who no one else likes? What's the story?
- Ariel: Where do you think you belong, and why?
- Flounder: Something that surprised you and frightened you.
- Eric: Have you ever helped a stranger? What happened.
- Aladdin: A sacrifice you made for someone.
- Tiana: A time you tried the hardest for something.
- Boo: A childhood hero.
- Cruella: Something you really want but you aren't allowed to have.
- Seven Dwarfs: 7 things you like in the people around you.
- Kronk: What you are best at in the kitchen?
- Simba: Something a parent has taught you.
- Cinderella: "A dream is a wish your heart makes" What's that for you?
- Nemo: Your bravest moment.
- Terk: Are you a big brother/sister figure to anyone?
- Buzz: Your favourite fantasy world (aka Harry Potter, Star Wars), if any.
- Alice: Done drugs?
- Peter Pan: Something from your childhood that you still love.
I just need to reblog this right now because as soon as I finished reading it, Hakuna Matata came on my Pandora
(Source: idiotsonfb)
Not Always Right: Unfiltered: PubSpokane, WA, USA(I run the bar at a small pub. We’re near a major...
Pub
Spokane, WA, USA(I run the bar at a small pub. We’re near a major university, so we get a lot of college kids. Some of them are real jerks and we sometimes have incidents with guys who are clearly trying to get girls drunk and take them home. We make a point to step in whenever we see it happening. On this particular night, one such guy is plying his trade on a girl sitting at the bar.)
Guy: Come on, gorgeous, have another. Here, I’ll match you shot-for-shot, okay?
Girl: (much more intoxicated than him) I don’t… I’m not sure I wanna… I’m getting too drunk.
Guy: Aw, come on. You want to have fun, right? Here, have my drink, okay?
(I’ve seen enough and am about to step in when a stranger suddenly walks up. He’s only about twenty-something, but looks really “old school”— he’s wearing an old-style suit and tie and is walking with a cane he doesn’t seem to need, and he’d hung up a bowler hat on our coat rack. In a bar full of t-shirts and shorts, he sticks out like a sore thumb.)
Stranger: Excuse me, my good man. I believe the lady said she was done drinking.
Guy: Excuse me, buddy, but I didn’t ask you. If I want some b**** to drink, I’ll give her a f****** drink, f*****.
(The whole bar goes silent.)
Stranger: Call me what you will, but I will not have you impugn the lady’s honor. Leave, or I will remove you myself.
Guy: What, you think you’re a bouncer or some s***? Let’s go, right here.
Stranger: Very well. Do you have a sword?
Guy: A what?
Stranger: A sword? For… no? Ah, more’s the pity. I’d hoped to settle this like gentlemen. Well, one mustn’t fuss.
(He sets his cane down on the bar, and it makes a rattling noise. I didn’t check, but I’m willing to bet there was a sword in it.)
Stranger: (Getting into a boxing stance) Shall we?
(The fight is over fast, before me and my coworkers even think to call security. The stranger bounces the aggressive guy’s head off the bar and knocks him flat. He pulls out a wallet and lays thirty dollars on the counter, and takes back his cane.)
Stranger: There, that should cover his drinks and mine. I think I’d best escort the lady home, she’s had a bit of an unfortunate night. I trust your staff can handle the gentleman on the floor?
Me: Uh, yeah. Yeah, we’ll kick him out. Thanks.
Stranger: Simply doing my duty. Come along, miss. I’ll need your address to walk you home.
(He turns to walk away for a moment, then turns back.)
Stranger: If I could trouble you for just one more moment, what year is it?
Me: It’s 2012, why?
Stranger: Two thousand and twelve? My goodness, that was a devil of a jump. Fascinating. Good evening, madam!
(He turns, takes his hat and the drunk girl, and leaves. We’ve never seen him again, but we still tell stories about the time we might have been visited by a time traveler.)
(Source: moonwalk-into-mordor)
heavy trigger warnings for rape.
all right, I’ve calmed down enough to post this, and hell fuckin’ no I ain’t blurrin’ out names.
hi my name is rachael, and this is why feminism is still needed. I have nothing else to say.
yooooo if you wanna know what the fuck i was so mad about, read the following and spread it please!!
this is physically painful to read oh my fucking god
I just sent this to Jacob:
This
There is so much need for education about rape culture
(Source: sugariemiaou)
This is why I don’t believe guys who tell me that the condom is too small.
When I was in middle school, we had a woman come teach us about contraception, and literally the first thing she told us was ‘Ladies, if a guy ever tells you he can’t wear condoms because they’re too small, he’s lying’ and then proceeded to open a condom and stretch it up her forearm up to her elbow.
well clearly I’ve been spending too much on socks
My health teacher did the same thing, but she put the entire contents of a 2-liter bottle of soda into a condom and said, “So girls, if a boy ever says that he’s too big for condoms, you run. You run so far.”
my mother just saw this picture on my dashboard as she walked in and stopped what she was saying just so she could go
‘why is that condom on their foot are they going to do someone in the butt with their foot’this post literally has nothing i do not enjoy
I’m seriously considering showing this picture to my supervisor so that we can tape it to the wall in our office as proof when kids come in and say “they can only wear magnums.”
(Source: jonnovstheinternet)
